Month: March 2015

Wait! What? You need social media to help you with your self-esteem? WTF?

I don’t get it. I just don’t. No, please, don’t even try to explain it to me. Because it’s all nonsense and insincerity.

Sure, it’s great when people like your post or tell you how wonderful you are. Even virtual hugs are nice to see once in a while.

But it doesn’t mean anything. Not in the real world because you see, 99% of those people will never be in your life. I may tell you on your thread to “Hang in there!” or “I hope things get better” or even “This is great! You are brilliant!” and I will mean it.

But most likely, that’s as far as it goes. I go to the next post, comment here and there, and I’ll forget all about you.

Just as you do with me and I’m good with that. In fact, I prefer it.

But when I see an abundance of people craving attention, needing it more than they need air, admitting they need the validation so they can feel good about themselves, a part of me sneers, another part of me spits and the rest of me keeps scrolling.

The moment you think self-esteem comes from anything outside of you, you’re fucked. Totally and completely fucked and apparently, you’re too wrapped up in yourself to even see it.

Self-esteem is confidence in one’s worth, abilities and value. If you’re looking for it outside of yourself, you’re on the wrong path for people are fickle. Their opinions often change moment by moment and if you value their opinion of you higher than your own, well….you’re fucked.

There’s no magic pill to fix it anymore than there is a pill to get back a gift you gave someone 10 years ago.

You never lost your self-esteem. Ever.

You gave it away. Willingly and happily. You said “Here, you take it because you’re more important than me, better than me, more interesting than me, blah blah blah….”

So you go online to try to get it back?

You’re an idiot and you’re making a fool of yourself, so knock it off.

I used to teach classes on self-respect and self-esteem. It was a lot of work and a lot of fun, and guess what? It worked 95% of the time. Those students of mine, are walking around, kicking ass and making absolutely NO apologies for themselves. They’ll never give it away again and will crush anyone that dares to even suggest they do. They are happy with themselves and their lives and they have the tools to keep going, to keep their chin up, and to never, ever, invalidate themselves again.

And believe me, it had nothing to do with social media. Not one damn thing. We tapped into what was already there, buried deep down inside, and slowly brought it back up.

You had it as a kid. You were born with it. YOU buried it. YOU said it wasn’t valuable. YOU agreed with others. YOU did it.

You can also undo it but not until you take responsibility for giving it away.

And it had nothing to do with TV commercials or what you see and hear all around you or how many people jerked off to your picture or praised your amazing tits. Since when did you think you were your body? Pffft…..

You started craving that long after you sold yourself out.

It used to make me sad to see it. Now I just shrug, sigh, and carry on.

But there’s always a little voice in my head, saying “Talk to that person. Maybe you can help…” but , over and over again, social networks have shown me it’s all smoke and mirrors and if I’m asking a person to take the time and invest in themselves, they are too busy posting something else in order to be interesting.

I’ll give you a hint about being happy and fulfilled:

Be interested in life and stop being interesting.

Good luck with that.


Miss me?

Miss me yet? Yes I know it has been a long time since I have blogged but that was on purpose.

You see, it’s not a matter of not having anything to say. It’s really about having so many things to say, that I didn’t know where to start.

I have been very busy working on a project, with a deadline fast approaching, and still slugging it out with my first draft. I’m excited about it but it is turning into a story that I had no intention of writing, but there you go! That’s the beauty of writing. You never know how it will end up and you learn to just go with the flow.

I have also begged off on a lot of my social media because honestly, unless I’m working towards an actual result or pushing a cause, I really don’t give a fuck about it. 95 percent of my time when I go online is just to look at cute things, interesting things, and certainly not to see another selfie of somebody I really don’t give a shit about.

I often wonder about people who post these daily, or pictures of their food, or what other tidbit of their life they believe worthy of doing. It’s not that I begrudge anyone doing that; it’s the people who seem to live online and can only find their self-worth based on what others say. I find it painful to watch so I choose not to.

The fact of the matter is, when I see that, I get angry. It annoys me that time is wasted or they’re spending their working hours, which they’re getting paid for, posting nonsense.

I know how easy it can be to get sucked into things over time. I believe that when unimportant things become important to you, it’s time to walk away. Not that social media was very important to me, other than the fun with my friends, but I could see that it was important to other people. Let’s face it, there’s a lot of nasty people online.

I always have to pay attention to or worry that I would have to, once again, battle the negative and critical people just because I wanted to post a nice article. I’ve posted much more to Twitter because, thankfully, no one seems to notice.

If your online life is more interesting than your real life, that is the time that you need to log off and go create your life. I have a life that I thoroughly enjoy and I’m happy with. Yes, there are a few things I would love to change. But that’s what makes it interesting. The battle, going for my goals, enjoying what I have and striving for more.

So I promise to blog more, and not be absent for so long, but time really is just a consideration. It feels like I was just here yesterday.