I was fortunate to be raised by parents who were sane. Who were traditional and content and grateful. Life wasn’t always easy for them, especially when they were first married. I’ve heard the stories and as I get older, I appreciate them even more.
It’s not my place to tell the stories, but I can tell you, having grown-up with a large and happy family isn’t anything I take for granted anymore.
Sometimes words come out of my mouth and they are my Mom’s. Sometimes they are my Dad’s. I’m good with both.
I have never struggled with who I am. I’m very clear and certain about that, but it’s when I do or say things that aren’t me.
I did it.
I said it.
I’m responsible for it.
I don’t know who it was but I can tell it wasn’t me because it doesn’t feel right. It feels foreign and uncomfortable. That happens to me every time to do the “Now you’re suppose to…” but I don’t know I’m doing that until after the fact.
People often wonder who they are.
I can help. Though I may not know you personally, I can give you a basic outline:
- You’re simple but try to prove to everyone how complicated you are. Beauty is in simplicity, not complications. You figure if you’re complicated, you’re more interesting. It’s not working, so stop it.
- You’re a tad bit naive but you hate me telling you that.
- You have a sweet nature about you, even if it’s buried.
- It doesn’t take much to make you happy, but as you’ve gotten older, your shoulders have started to slump. This worries you.
- You think you’re a body, but you know that you aren’t, and you’ve got the two confused.
- You feel more sorrow and sadness from the things you’ve done, but try to convince yourself it’s from what others have done to you. Stop lying to yourself. We’re all the same way.
- There are moments when life makes sense, but then some asshole comes along, and you listen to them, rather than yourself. You need to dump those people. Fast. But you already knew that. Stop being stupid. You don’t owe anyone your sanity.
- You have an innate sense of ethics and justice but can’t quite sort it all out.
- You want people to like you, and the more you tell me this isn’t true, the more I know how much it weighs on you.
- You feel most people don’t understand you. Well, how can they when you keep making shit complicated when it wasn’t complicated to begin with?
Anything other than creativity, grace, silliness, amusement, patience, gratitude, hopefulness, awareness, civility, intelligence, benevolence, love, fun, respect, admiration, honesty, consideration, fairness, compassion, forgiveness, belief, faith, appreciation, friendliness, integrity and a few more good things are – not you.
Make sense now?