Why I’m not blogging right now.

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OK! OK! I know. I know, I haven’t been blogging but I have a really good reason. Honest.

I’m working on my Patreon site instead. I decided that I REALLY needed to finish my book – the one I’ve been working on for 2 years – and working a full-time job and a part-time job doesn’t leave much room for writing.

That’s also not counting the volunteer work I do every week nor a few other projects that I’ve been doing.

Yes, I keep myself busy. It’s the only way I know not to go insane. Well, that and not have another dipshit boyfriend, but I digress…

Here’s the link for it and I’d love for you to check it out. Sponsor, if you can, or check back for a few random free posts:

https://www.patreon.com/SusanLewis?ty=h

I know most of us writers don’t make our living with our writing, but that doesn’t mean we don’t try. Right now I’ve set aside anything that doesn’t work towards increasing my income, and therefore my work, in the areas that I am passionate about. I’ve never blogged for income and I’ve never put ads on my site.

I want this writing to mean something to somebody. I want to help reform the areas I work in and I can’t do it if I’m broke. And the likelihood of Prince Charming coming along and financing is a pipe dream I long ago tossed.

Please feel free to share and I hope to see you over at my new site.

 

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“We have two lives. The second begins when we realize we have only one.”

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I really liked this. I have no way of knowing if Confucius said this – no one does – but it’s still a good quote. I’ve worked my ass off my entire life. I started my first job at McDonald’s when I was 16. Prior to that, I did the usual stuff – babysitting the neighborhood kids and making a few bucks for it. But McDonald’s was the big time.

Back then, you had to write the order on an order pad with this thing called a pencil. Then you had to add it all up all by yourself. You know, actually use the math you’d been taught all those years. Then you had to key in the total in the cash register and count out change – all in your head. Let me tell you, you learned to do math correctly. You learned to move fast, be polite, and always be 2 steps ahead of the line of customers. You learned to be on time, work hard, and how to get paid and handle your money. Sure, I will still living at home, but I had earned my money with my own hard work. I was responsible to getting there on time and taking responsibility for my job and therefore, my life.

I’ve only had a few vacations in my life. I haven’t done the traveling that I wanted, but the day isn’t over. Through trial and error, I figured out what I wanted to be when I grew up and that was only when I was in my late 40’s. Even then, I’m still pushing ahead on the paths I want to walk.

Just the other day, I had a long talk with someone about the prison system and her involvement with it as a volunteer. Both she and I had had great success with the inmates we had worked with and we both shared the same frustration of a broken system and apathy within the system.

The fact of the matter is this – people say they want crime to end, but their actions show a different story. She and I learned that the hard way. It all sounds good on paper or when someone is pontificating from a podium, but the proof is in the pudding. What are the actions being taken to resolve this?

I suffer from a peculiar disease that I call “Bull Shit Detectorits” which is the constant awareness of people’s bull shit that results in my radar going off. Constantly. When my radar goes off, it pings my head, so the result is a continual pinging in my head that leads to my frustration with those around me. The only known cure for this is to ignore most people and do my thing.

When I come across someone else with the same disease, I feel relief. I feel understood. I feel there is a slight amount of hope for mankind.

Let me ask you this: How would you feel if you had the cure for cancer? I mean, every type of cancer there is but no one will listen to you? Not only will they not listen to you, some go out of their way to make fun of you or attack you? How would you feel if you were holding this cure in your outstretched hand, in the middle of a cancer ward, but people were too busy running around, trying to help people, and ignored you?

Would you feel frustrated? Would you feel angry? What would you do after a few years of this? There you are, with a cure, yet no one (or very few) will listen or if they do, they argue with you? I mean, actually argue with you and yet they know nothing about what you’re offering.

What would you do?

Hopefully, you do what I and a few others do – we lick our wounds, shrug our shoulders, and keep to ourselves while we get the work done.

We realize we’ve limited time and resources and only have this one life, which gives us a second life.

The life of a volunteer. There are millions of us and we try not to listen to the naysayers or read what they are constantly sharing and talking about. You know them. They fill your feed with problems or your life with them, they are outraged about something every 15 minutes and yet never, ever, offer a solution or do shit about anything. They are worthless most of the time and yet will insist that you respect them.

Miracles are performed a million times a day, but they are done quietly and without fanfare. They are performed by the men and women who stay up all night with a sick child, or who rescue an animal or who hand out fliers on a street corner, etc.

Everywhere around you, we work quietly and constantly for we know we are the ones that have stopped this planet from blowing up a thousand times. The rightness of mankind rests on the shoulders of the people of goodwill. We are everywhere and without us, mankind doesn’t stand a chance.

Change comes about from persistence, good organization, dedication and one-on-one help to the individual.

It doesn’t come around because you changed your Facebook picture or shared a link about some dumb ass flag.

It comes around because YOU did something for SOMEONE.

Not the masses, not the “people” and surely not the government.

It happened ONLY because someone, somewhere, rolled up their sleeves and made a difference in the lives of the people in front of them.

Share your outrage with other outraged people, but keep that shit out of my life. You’re getting in the way of the rest of us and that pisses me off.

Arguing about your religion? Bwahaha!

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I swear, it never gets old.

Almost daily, I watch people go at in online. Some idiot, in the name of ____ (usually Christ, but not always) starts to tell others why they’re wrong IN THE NAME OF CHRIST!

OK, fair enough. I mean, it’s going to happen if you post anything. I usually block immediately, but that’s me. Some enjoy a good troll fest.

Then, without fail, someone else comes along, professing to also be of that faith, and tears the first person a new asshole for being wrong in the way they practice their religion.

Am I the only one that sees the irony in this?

“You are going to hell because ________________.”

“Hey! I’m a Christian and you’re being a dick and shouldn’t talk to people that way…..” and we’re off and running.

I grab my popcorn, if I have time, and watch it explode.

Me? I never argue it.

Ever.

“You, Susan, are wrong and your religion is wrong because………………….”

“OK.”

“But, listen to me! I know all about you and your kind…..”

“OK.”  I munch on some more popcorn.

“I’ve read all about………..”

“Great! Hey, gotta go, but thanks for the chat. It really helped me in my life…” and off I scoot.

Lead by example and that often means keeping your mouth shut.

Try it.

 

You’re not as funny as you think you are.

I can’t laugh at your jokes anymore, not that I did in the first place. I was being polite.

Some of them are funny. Some of them are not. But your constant laughing at religious beliefs quickly loses its appeal to me when it seems that most of your online actions are attributed to that.

I can only imagine what you are like in real life. Would you be so bold and arrogant as to attack someone’s faith and belief if they were sitting in front of you?

If so, I don’t want to know you.

Oh, you’ll throw me your justification of them “Getting in your face” and try the old and tired excuse of freedom of speech. Zip it.

This isn’t about what is right or true for you. This is about respect for mankind. This is about what an asshole you are when you make fun of people. Religious people are an easy target.

I don’t subscribe to most religious beliefs, so don’t think I am coming from a position of defense of mine. I’m not.

I’m coming from a position of respecting another person’s religious beliefs. All of them. All the time. It doesn’t matter what I belief or what I think. What is more important is that everyone has the right to speak of theirs without you coming along and ridiculing them.

I tire of your low IQ humor and the picking on of other people.

But let me tell you something – if YOUR church or beliefs were attacked, I’d be there to help defend you and your temple/church/synagogue/place of worship in a heartbeat, if at all physically possible for me.

It has nothing to do with what I believe and has everything to do with strengthening a person’s right to worship and discuss. I can’t count the number of times I’ve sat at a table, held hands with the people sitting next to me, bowed my head, and remained silent while they said grace.

Guess what? I’m not a Christian.

And you know what else? It doesn’t matter to me. I’ve done that with pastors in restaurants. I’ve done it at weddings and funerals and naming ceremonies. I’ve sat in countless churches and made sure to abide by their ways. I’ve sat with a scarf wrapped around my head at a Catholic wedding BECAUSE IT’S THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

If I didn’t want to, then I didn’t have to attend.

You use the billions of people who worship as a target for your hatred. A bigot is as a bigot does.

If you and others cannot see how crucial and vital that is to a country and people all over the world, then you and I don’t have much to say to each other.

 

I judge all the time.

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Yes I do. I make decisions about what I see and what I know.

From Merriam-Webster: Judge:

  • :to form an opinion about (something or someone) after careful thought
  • :to regard (someone) as either good or bad
  • law : to make an official decision about (a legal case.

People say “Don’t judge me!” Hell, I’ve said that also and I get what you mean. It means to not be harsh or unkind or form an opinion without all the facts or any thought.

But we are allowed to do that. We are allowed to have opinions and we have the freedom of thought. Whether or not you’re a good person or not is beside the point.

You don’t get carte blanche on your actions and then tell people they are wrong for calling you out on being a douche. Sorry. You and I are responsible for our actions and the effects they create.

Where I have really learned about this recently, and live with it daily, is with my dog, Blue. You see, he’s a pit bull and is constantly judged by everyone that sees him.

Some judge him to be a good and loveable dog, which he is.

Others judge him to be vicious and will rip their face off if they get too near. Those people are easy to spot; they quickly step off the sidewalk when they see us. Some jog into the street to get away from us.

When they do that, I have more strut in my walk, I hold my head higher and I’ve been known to growl at them when they pass by. That usually causes them to walk faster away from us.

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As I often said to people, be more afraid of me than my dog. He’s nice. Me? Not so much.

Have I ever been judged? Well of course I have. In fact, recently, I was tried and convicted and hung online for my religious beliefs. Not once did these so-called “friends” even ask me about it. One said to another friend the equivalent of “She belongs to an evil cult, but I still like her.” Oh really? Is that like saying I’m a nice Nazi? You know, you’re a Nazi but I’ll just be gracious and overlook that fact…Gee, how civil of you…. (eye roll inserted here).

So I have found a great deal of comfort and understanding after rescuing a pit bull. I understand the life of being judged, ostracized, and deemed dangerous and you know what? They’re right. I am dangerous if you mess with me or those that I love.

Have I judged others? Yep. Sometimes I was right and sometimes I was wrong.

But we live in a world where there are “Thought Police.” These are people who can’t distinguish between thoughts and actions. They are very concerned about what you’re thinking.

I don’t care what you think. I care about what you do. I’ll worry about my own thoughts and actions and only pay attention to your actions IF they impinge on my rights.

But I have a right to what I think. I usually don’t agree with the majority. In fact, I try not to because once “Group Think” starts, independent thought is attacked. Heavily.

So I’ll stick with the outcasts, the free-thinkers, the writers, the artists, and the misfits. They are much more interesting and funnier than the majority.

I must be a mermaid

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I wish I could enjoy the chit-chat that so many people seem to like. It’s not that I don’t, for very limited time, but it’s that I either have a lot to say or nothing to say.

I find myself shying away from any deep or meaningful conversations because I’ve found, few people actually listen. They are just waiting for you to shut-up so they can say something else.

So I worked hard and mastered the skill of listening. I mean, really listening to people with no want to interrupt or say anything. I focus completely on them and their words.

And you know what?

If you listen, people will talk to you. They will tell you the most amazing stories. They will bear their soul easily and willingly.

Maybe if you feel that no one understands you or isn’t listening to you, it’s probably because you aren’t listening to them or understanding them.

Don’t be in such a hurry to enforce what you have to say. Most people really don’t care, even if it is coming from you. Sorry, but it’s true.

Take a day and just listen. To anyone and everyone. It won’t hurt you and you’ll find a great sense of relief in no longer caring if anyone is listening to you.

90% of my work is listening and letting the person know I heard and understood them. People show who they are all the time.

All you have to do is look and listen.

Then you’ll know and you’ll have done a wonderful thing for someone.

 

Bruce Jenner is now Caitlyn Jenner

 

 

1This picture was taken in my Mom’s home. It gives you an idea of how she and I think.

I don’t care if he’s a boy or a girl. She owes me nothing for being an Olympic champion just as I don’t owe her anything. We’re both humans and as long as my rights don’t trample on hers, and vice versa, I don’t give a damn what she does.

I have no clue what it’s like to be in her position. I have no idea what it must be like to grow up one way but feel another way. I have no idea what I would do in the scenario.

And I’m really glad I never had to find out.

Yes, it’s different. Yes, it’s hard for some (including myself) to understand because I never walked in those shoes. But why would I care what she does if she’s being true to herself?

Not my call, nor is it anyone else’s.

I know plenty of people who are disgusted about the whole thing.

Me?

I wish they’d take their outrage and channel it into productive things, such as:

  • Education of Human Rights and getting them implemented world-wide.
  • Animal rights and welfare.
  • Ending wars.
  • Ending starvation.
  • Ending genocide.
  • Ending disease.
  • Ending suicide.
  • Ending hatred.

Just to name a few.

So someone’s outrage and disgust, while they sit at their keyboard and do nothing about improving the human condition, speaks volumes about themselves.

Shut the fuck up and stop whining about things which do you no harm. Get up off your ass and go help someone, anyone, and don’t speak of things which you don’t understand.

Damn, I had other plans today that didn’t include blogging today, but…idiots happened.

And for what it’s worth, Caitlyn, you’d be welcomed in my Church. We don’t give a shit about the little things.

/rantover.

 

Sometimes, it’s not about who you are. It’s about who you aren’t.

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I was fortunate to be raised by parents who were sane. Who were traditional and content and grateful. Life wasn’t always easy for them, especially when they were first married. I’ve heard the stories and as I get older, I appreciate them even more.

It’s not my place to tell the stories, but I can tell you, having grown-up with a large and happy family isn’t anything I take for granted anymore.

Sometimes words come out of my mouth and they are my Mom’s. Sometimes they are my Dad’s. I’m good with both.

I have never struggled with who I am. I’m very clear and certain about that, but it’s when I do or say things that aren’t me.

I did it.

I said it.

I’m responsible for it.

I don’t know who it was but I can tell it wasn’t me because it doesn’t feel right. It feels foreign and uncomfortable. That happens to me every time to do the “Now you’re suppose to…” but I don’t know I’m doing that until after the fact.

People often wonder who they are.

I can help. Though I may not know you personally, I can give you a basic outline:

  • You’re simple but try to prove to everyone how complicated you are. Beauty is in simplicity, not complications. You figure if you’re complicated, you’re more interesting. It’s not working, so stop it.
  • You’re a tad bit naive but you hate me telling you that.
  • You have a sweet nature about you, even if it’s buried.
  • It doesn’t take much to make you happy, but as you’ve gotten older, your shoulders have started to slump. This worries you.
  • You think you’re a body, but you know that you aren’t, and you’ve got the two confused.
  • You feel more sorrow and sadness from the things you’ve done, but try to convince yourself it’s from what others have done to you. Stop lying to yourself. We’re all the same way.
  • There are moments when life makes sense, but then some asshole comes along, and you listen to them, rather than yourself. You need to dump those people. Fast. But you already knew that. Stop being stupid. You don’t owe anyone your sanity.
  • You have an innate sense of ethics and justice but can’t quite sort it all out.
  • You want people to like you, and the more you tell me this isn’t true, the more I know how much it weighs on you.
  • You feel most people don’t understand you. Well, how can they when you keep making shit complicated when it wasn’t complicated to begin with?

Anything other than creativity, grace, silliness, amusement, patience, gratitude, hopefulness, awareness, civility, intelligence, benevolence, love, fun, respect, admiration, honesty, consideration, fairness, compassion, forgiveness, belief, faith, appreciation, friendliness, integrity and a few more good things are – not you.

Make sense now?

 

 

wut r werds?

This is truer than I would like to admit.

 

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I have the most brilliant ideas when I’m away from my computer or opening my notepad.

I’ve got the story nailed just as I am falling asleep.

I know exactly how to bring the story together while I’m taking a shower.

That sudden blankness when I tried to figure out how to write a difficult scene? Handled while I’m driving.

I can think of three amazing stories to write, from start to finish, while I’m at work and talking to a client.

What has saved my ass is my phone and being able to talk right into it, but only if no one is around. Otherwise, I look and sound like an escaped mental patient.

“Have her run from the warden, duck under a fence and don’t forget to change the guys name to Howard and be sure to edit the part with the watermelon and pickles so when the stranger comes she’ll know to lock the door and talk to the guy with the eagle.”

Writer’s are perfectly sane.

Sure we are.

Turning 60.

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This is me with a few of my buddies last weekend. We get together every so often, have dinner, and catch-up with each other.

Next month, I turn 60 and you want to know the weirdest thing about it?

It doesn’t bother me in the least.

Yes, there are a few changes that occur when you get older:

I can still get up and down easily, but now I have to do quick trajectories in my head before I get back up.

Hot flashes come and go and there’s nothing so interesting as having one in the middle of a heat wave, while talking on the phone to a client, and having a sudden urge to slam down the phone and find the nearest pile of snow to fall into. Naked.

I can’t have too many fans going at the same time.

I woke-up one morning with an extra 10 pounds on my stomach. The bitch fat fairy came one night and decided that I had maintained my weight too long.

I have energy, but only for shit I care about, such as binge watching shows when I should be exercising, getting up to get another cup of coffee before sitting back down again, eating an extra serving of French bread with more butter, and reaching across the table for the bottle of wine. I have my priorities straight!

I now think twice, sometimes three times, before offering my help to people. I’ve learned most enjoy their drama and I don’t.

My mind is sharper and faster than when I was younger, but I don’t care.

I no longer make apologies for myself.

Sleep is the greatest thing ever invented. Well, sleep and carbs. And wine. And chocolate.

I have no health problems and I’ve earned that.

I regret a few things, but not much. Waste of time. Either handle it or leave it alone.

You’ve only got you. No matter where you go, there you are. I learned to love myself or at least like myself if I’ve been an idiot.

People need to earn me. Few ever make the effort.

I’ll never lose my cynical side and don’t intend to.

I’ll probably have long hair until I die. I refuse to look at the gray roots and color my hair the very second they show up.

Everything is not a battle, but when it is, I’m all in. If not, I’m on the sidelines, cheering others on with a beer and missing a cigarette.

You are who you say you are. Choose wisely.

Most shit in life isn’t personal, even yours.

All you’ve got is now, so might as well kick some ass, or sit down and have another piece of pie.

I hate posts like this, so I’ll shut-up now.